12/10ths

Don't let your eyes deceive you. This is not a charcuterie plate. It is THE charcuterie plate. My tastebuds were the lucky recipients of this gastronomic bonanza a few days ago, for a birthday dinner (sadly, not mine) and I can still taste it. Even the accompanying pickle and mustard selection was a delight. But the crowning glory -- which you can see in the top-right corner of the board -- was the lardo.

What is lardo? I feel a bit sorry for you if you have to ask. Lardo is made from the thick layer of fat directly below the skin of a pig; the fat is carefully removed and cured in salt and spices. The result is something I can only describe as carnivorous butter -- it literally melts on your tongue, releasing the sweet, smoky flavours and seasonings. It changed my life (once I got over the fact that I was eating pure fat, that is).

The rest of the dinner was equally amazing, and recounting every detail would take far too long. Suffice it to say, I was in heaven. And in heaven, they serve asparagus.

Oh, but not just any old asparagus. Fat, juicy spears of white asparagus, simmered in a water bath flavoured with butter and a bit of sugar to counteract the natural bitterness of the asparagus. Then it tossed with lots (!) of juicy morel mushrooms and wild leeks (known as ramps). Honestly, I could've eaten nothing but this and been satisfied.

That is, until it came time for dessert:

Ah, lemon curd. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: almost sour enough to make my lips pucker, yet not so sour that the flavours were lost. Topped with frozen raspberry bits and a sorbet made of buckthorn berries. Keep your molten chocolate clichés and your derivative crème brûlées. This is the way to my heart.

So after 2.5 hours of feasting, including many complimentary dishes that were kindly delivered to our table, we were stuffed. I mean, REALLY stuffed. Which is where the title of this blog comes from: for years now, my best friend and I have used this fractional system of measurement to describe our stuffed-ness after any meal. Generally, if we finish and still feel like there's room left (which is the responsible way to eat, I suppose), we are usually around 7/10ths or 8/10ths. Full to the brim? 10/10ths. 

This meal, my friends, put me joyously over the top to an unprecedented 12/10ths. I have never been so full, or so happy, after a meal. 

If you'll excuse me, I think I still need to digest....